I’m the first one on movie night to suggest titles like You’ve Got Mail, She’s the Man, and Princess Diaries, where – no matter what – the girl gets the guy. No matter what, the credits roll over a valiant kiss and declaration of feelings. No matter what, the credits roll over: Happily Ever After.
All this is great, until the lights come on and we’re thrust back into reality. The reality where boys don’t declare their feelings so openly. The reality where we’re single as f*ck and no men in our lives show signs of recognizing our feelings. The reality where happily ever after doesn’t always happen.
There isn’t a movie about the girl who likes the boy who sits next to her in her writing class, and he doesn’t get it. There’s not a movie portraying the playboy who stays a playboy and doesn’t fall for the cute girl down the street. There’s no movie showing us just wandering around, hoping the one randomly pops up so we can have our final kiss and live that life we dream about.
What a goddamn boring movie that would be, right?
But that’s life. Most of us don’t find the one in high school, in the halls in college, at the receptionist desk at work. Most of us go through first date after first date and only sometimes get to the second one without feeling gross or feeling no chemistry.
We don’t meet a guy at the bar, see fireworks, and two hours later, after wild adventures and a predictable break up, end up together forever.
And that’s just it. No one wants to sit in a movie theatre and watch a girl go to college, drink on weekends with her friends, complain about boys, and then watch the credits roll. We want drama and passion and love. We want to watch what we could have.
Don’t get me wrong, I love watching that Rom Com and pretending that I’m going to find that one day. But will I? Or will I just endlessly wander around, a circle of liking a guy and him never opening his eyes to me? And I’m not saying I need my happy ending now, but ever?
Maybe I’m not forward enough. Maybe I’m absolute shit at showing my feelings. Maybe I’m too shy or too introspective.
According to the Rom Coms, though, some guy is going to see me, and want to date and marry me.
I’m calling bullshit.
Life isn’t a movie. Life doesn’t work in a methodical, predicts way where we meet, fight, and make up just in time for the next movie to show. Life is dissatisfying for most – love-wise – and we don’t always find our soulmate.
I might be extremely cynical. But it’s not like I haven’t had examples of true love in my life: my grandparents have been married since college, my parents have been in love since high school. But life now, in 2016, is different from the 50s, 80s, and even the 90s.
Most men want to sleep around and sow their wild wild oats before they settle down. I say most because there are some who want to date and settle down, but where are they?
This past movie night with my roommate, we watched How To Be Single, a great movie that attempts to highlight four different women and their search for love. And it was the first movie I’d seen in a long ass time that showed honestly, how it feels being single. It’s lonely at times. At other times, it’s liberating. Still, this movie ended in two happy endings, and two unresolved ones. And even still, all four women had their pick of men throughout the movie.
That’s not true life.
Again, I might be cynical and ranting. But please, point me to the movies that don’t end with the guy getting the girl. Point me to the men who don’t want to sow their oats.
Point me to my happy ending.