Thankful Project Day 4: Country Music

Some people don’t like country music very much. So this post might not get too much love. But I am so thankful for country music.

In country music, they don’t scream about sleeping with b*tches or rap about shawty’s ass. It’s just guitar, lyrics about drinking beer with friends and falling in love with the perfect girl. It’s soft drums and concerts full of happy people and cowboy boots. In other words, I think it’s quite wonderful.

Country music never fails to make me happy. It’s my music of choice when I’m sad or down about something. It makes me feel like I’m better than what I believe I am. Country music made me believe in the power of music therapy.

If you don’t what music therapy is, here’s a quick synopsis: a patient can find an activity that includes any genre of music (singing, dancing, learning an instrument, sitting quietly and listening), and that activity triggers their brain to be happier and more productive – the more you do it, the stronger the triggers get. Patients can then move from that to another activity (without music), and use the strength of the triggers to be happier, more productive, more vocal, more communicative, etc. Music therapy has tremendous success in patients with depression, anxiety, dementia, Parkinson’s, Autism, etc.

And country music is my genre of choice.

When I get in my car after a bad day, or a day of knowing I’m not going to feel 100%, and I turn on country music, singing softly along, I start to feel better. And I can carry that mood with me throughout the day. I’ll probably be humming at some point, maybe muttering lyrics under my breath, but I feel better.

Country music is so many things. It’s joyful, it’s sad, it’s a party, it’s patriotic, it’s beautiful. 

And no, not everyone agrees with that statement. But I don’t care.

Music has the ability to heal people.

So maybe this isn’t a thank you to country music, but instead to music in general. Music has the power to make people feel something more complex than what they currently feel. It brings people together. It makes people feel wonderful. It makes people happier. And isn’t that what we all want? 

Metaphorical Misery

I wrote this poem in the span of just moments – something that rarely happens. And why? Because someone was trying to save me from my depression and anxiety. I write about my depression often, but never have I written about it like this. There is no story to this poem – just expression. 

they romanticize it –
call it van gogh cuttin’ off his ear
then paintin’ healthy
green wheatfields underneath upset skies –
say it’s the last autumn leaf fallin’
to the damp grass because
everything must fall before
being reborn better –
claim it’s bees seekin’ flowers in your garden
only to create crystallized honey
so sweet rotten

they call it beautiful like –
give it a poetic name
and it’ll be good enough
when you swaddle yourself in your grey duvet
in the dull shuttered morning light

mine is this way –
they use fanciful language and
tear open my body to love
the depression right out of me
they make me a metaphor –
call me persephone beggin’ for freedom –
all exhausted cliche and comparisons
to something i’ll never add up to

when really –
it’s just van gogh in wheatfields
weary leaves being raked
sour honey thrown out and
broken greek myths strangled
in a cloud of existence and
surrender

 

(All copyrights to this poem are mine. Please do not republish or take without permission. This is original work and should not be plagiarised.)

What I Mean To Say…

I have always struggled with saying things that I shouldn’t say. And I’ve decided I’m done censoring my thoughts. As someone who is working towards a career in writing – an extremely hard to get into career – I’ve spent way too much time not writing.

I write for another blog. But I run this one. On this blog, I edit myself. I’m on my own schedule. I literally get to say and share whatever the fuck I want. Sometimes, it’ll be thoughts. Other times, it’ll be opinions. And even sometimes, it’ll be poetry.

And look, I don’t mean to offend you. But sometimes, I might. But I’m unapologetically myself, because I’ve spent way too much time worrying about other things beside myself. So I’m apologizing now. I’m sorry if I ever offend you. I’m sorry if I say something here that you don’t like. But these are my opinions, this is my blog. So if I say something you don’t like, you don’t have to read it.

Or, you could thoughtfully, and politely, tell me your thoughts. I’d love to hear them.